Yesterday, I walked a woman out onto the porch of the store and I noticed the Bradford Pear tree that resides beside Arthur. (Arthur is a giant, iron camel that sits in front of the store.) Almost all of its leaves are gone, save a few little red ones that are scarcely hanging on at all anymore. In the spring, this tree is covered in tiny, white blossoms. It looks like something out of a fairytale with all of its tiny green buds popping out from their winter covers. Then, as the summer rolls in, the white petals of those precious little flowers flutter in the breeze like some crazy breed of snowflake. All through the summer, that tree is about the greenest thing on the creek. Even when everything else is brown and the grass sounds like you're walking on Fritos, that tree is still showing off. When the weather starts cooling off in the fall, its leaves turn the most brilliant shade of orangey red. I've had a bit of a love affair with this tree over the past couple of years. It seems to remind me that there's always a bit of beauty around the corner despite the chaos that might be swirling around me.
This year, I missed the beautiful show that the tree displays when the air starts to chill. I'm not sure that I know where I was when she began to blush. I don't know what was so important in my world that persuaded me to ignore my leafy friend. Now, her branches are almost bare. While I appreciate the beauty of her naked branches, I despise the fact that I missed the opportunity to watch her display her amazing, fiery red show. It made me a bit melancholy when I came to this realization.
Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I've been so busy with my oh so important life that I've missed something. What gives me the right to have such tunnel vision? Absolutely nothing. I have the right to seek out a content existence and be happy in this life, but I do not have the right to disregard everyone and everything else on the entire planet while doing so.
Now, Christmas is right around the corner. I spent last night wrapping a few gifts and enjoying a couple of glasses of good wine. I've not been a huge fan of Christmas in the commercial sense for the majority of my adult life. I get what it's supposed to be all about, and I fully appreciate that. What I'm not a huge fan of is all of the buying and wanting and scurrying about in order to live up to some ridiculous standard that heaven only knows can't ever be met. My daddy always said that he didn't care about the gifts and all of the bustle, as long as we were all together. All he ever wanted was for everyone in our family to sit down to a nice dinner together and enjoy each other. I'll never get to have dinner with my daddy again, and I'll miss that for the rest of my life. I won't have Christmas with my family this year, just as I didn't have Thanksgiving with them. I saw them mid November, sure. But it just wasn't the same. And this year, I'll have Christmas dinner with my adopted Bandera family again. My adopted family has helped me keep my sanity over the past couple of years. And Kim is the best cheerleader I could ask for. No matter how ridiculous my life gets, she always has mimosas and a good laugh ready to go for me.
I guess what I'm saying is that the people and things that we love most in this life can and will disappear without warning. I'm starting my New Year's resolution list early this year. Well, I guess I don't have a list to speak of really, maybe just the one thing. Beginning now, I'm putting my very important life on the back burner. The things that have been brushed aside are my top priority. I will not let another day pass without noticing what my favorite tree is up to. Further, I will love the people that I am so blessed to have in my life with everything that I've got. I hope that all of you will do the same, and maybe realize that none of us take enough time to stop and smell the roses - to be quite cliche. Take the time, show the "I love you's" instead of just saying them, and love with reckless abandon. I wish each and every one of you a very merry Christmas, and a heart filled with wonder like that of a child. All of my love!
Sunny
