This past week has been a whirlwind of activity. And it’s brought some things to my attention. Number one, it’s amazing what you’ll do when you finally find what you’ve been searching for in this world. You’ll leave things you thought you loved, and you’ll travel great lengths. When you choose to do things like these, people in your life tend to have very strong reactions. You do know that what you do with your life is everyone else’s business…don’t you? Now, let’s not get this confused. I want to be very clear. I don’t for one minute mind genuine concern. I actually appreciate it. It’s nothing that I wouldn’t express if someone I held dear to me decided to do something drastic in their life. Further, I don’t mind support and/or encouragement. I truly appreciate that more than I can put into words. What I have a hard time processing, however, is when people judge what they don’t understand. When they choose to hurl nasty words about people that they’ve literally spent less than an hour with ever – I’m genuinely baffled.
Now, I have to give some examples of what I’ve learned in the past year of my life. I realize that to some people, I’m still young and stupid. I have an old soul, and I’m quite a thinker, so listen up. Someone told me something that I found to be very true not too awfully long ago. “There’s no such thing as a Kleenex that’s too soggy to hold when it’s for a good enough friend.” Now, I’m paraphrasing a bit because I’ve slept since that was said to me. But the point is this – when you love someone enough, you’ll do anything for them. This includes holding their soggy Kleenex and handing them freshly folded ones as needed. Some things, we couldn’t bear to face without friends like that in our lives. Then there’s the friend that you see every now and again, but they’re always there for you when your life goes to crap. I never, ever discount this sort of friend. And just because we’re not together constantly doesn’t mean that I love them any less. Then there’s the friend that knows how to break through your hard candy coating and get to the gooey marshmallow middle. This friend will do things like hold your hand and read you a Dr. Suess book when they find out that you’re moving. And hug you hard when your day has gone to hell, or when your heart gets broken – again. I do have one friend that has been my friend since I was 13 years old. Through the years, we’ve shared a lot. Gains, losses, secrets, hysterical laughter…and when I do something that most people would consider nutso, this friend simply wishes me happiness and tells me that if things go south and I end up shattered, people will disappear this time. Then there’s the boss that you honestly love with all of your heart that listens to you and actually cares what happens in your life outside of work. And don’t forget the coworkers that become your surrogate family. Oh - and the one that you spend a healthy 30 hours a week with that is your counselor, friend, gentle critic, sounding board, and voice of reason.
I’m of the extremely firm persuasion that everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. We may not know what the reason is immediately. For that matter, we may never know the reason. Some things aren’t ours to know. I also believe that every single person – good or bad – that comes through our lives comes through for a reason. I have the most amazingly fantastic luck. I’m blessed. I’m fortunate. However you choose to say it, I have met the most incredible assortment of people in my short 33 years on this planet. Every single person I’ve encountered in my life has taught me a lesson. I’ve learned that you can be friends with someone for years and trust them with your life, and they might turn around and totally demolish your life without warning. When that happens, you’ll find the strength to pick yourself up and start over. It’s not easy to do, but the rewards are countless! I learned how to take care of myself for the first time in my life. And I learned that there are lots of serious assholes in this world. Then came the revelation that – are you ready for this?? – you actually have to trust people! I know. It’s hard to fathom. Trust is hard to re-learn when yours has been betrayed. And wow – when you do realize that you can actually trust some folks here and there, it’s beyond liberating! I also learned that even though you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that someone loves you, sometimes they will completely break your heart with awful, hateful words. You still love them in spite of this, but it doesn’t make the pain any less real. When this occurs, it tends to make me clam up. I stop sharing because my words get twisted and used as ammunition against me. The lesson here is that we need to be careful who we drop our guard with. Support doesn’t always come from those that you need it from the most.
I said all of that to say this –
Thank you to all of the wonderful people that are in my life, and those that have passed through. I have learned something from each and every one of you. Thank you for being harsh, kind, hateful, loving, and supportive. I even appreciate the breaks in my heart that have occurred along the way. Thank you for being my friends, showing me love and reminding me that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I love you for being in my life – regardless of the capacity. I am stronger, braver, kinder, and a generally better person because of you.
All of my love,
Sunny
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