HEB Mamas vs Wal Mart Mamas

One of the things that I was most looking forward to when I moved down here was grocery shopping at HEB.  Aisles and aisles of specialty foods, bulk food aisles, any cheese you'd ever want to melt, organic everything, fresh hand rolled sushi that's actually GOOD...to someone who grew up with Brookshire's, this place is a wonder land. So, once a week, I load up to go grocery shopping.  Last week, I had quite an extensive list.  I arrived at HEB at almost 4:00 due to circumstances beyond my control.  By the time I left, I found myself in desperate need of either Valium or alcohol.

Let me explain.  The women that were grocery shopping with their little school children are on something.  Or they're tree huggers.  I'm still up in the air on this one.  While Mama is looking at which package of chicken thighs to buy, her cart is blocking the entire chicken section pushed a comfy two feet away from her tanned little elbow.  Meanwhile, her little spawn are behaving like zoo monkeys.  Hanging from the meat cases, bouncing off the carts - hers and mine - blocking the pork section...these kids are in need of a talking to like I used to get when I was little.  My sister and I knew better than to act like little devils in public.  That's because MY Mama put the fear of God in us at an early age!  I can count on one hand the number of spankings I got when I was growing up, but I guarantee you I deserved every damned one of them.  I've taken my nephews out in public by myself before, and while they ARE boys, they are pretty near angelic.  My sister has raised respectful, considerate, helpful children using much the same method my mother used.  They know she means business when she takes them out to run errands.  To any extent, there were multiple tribes of these little hellions all over the store.  And heaven forbid you glare at or pointedly avoid the little monsters.  Apparently, HEB Mamas think their precious little angels are just the most adorable little things to ever hit God's green Earth!  Boy oh boy are they off!  I got so frustrated that I couldn't find the boneless, skinless chicken breasts that I had planned to cook for dinner that night, and I got home with cheese that I thought was molded.  The good news on the cheese is that it just had jalapenos in it, not mold. 

This week, I decided that I'd try Wal Mart.  While the selection is a bit more limited, the company is much more acceptable!  I saw a woman with 5 - yes 5 - chubby, smiley little girls crammed into one of those plastic fronted carts.  Those girls were all under 10, by the way.  I passed them several times, and every single time they were all giggling and singing - but NEVER setting foot out of that cart!  On one aisle, one of the younger ones tuned up to throw a fit.  Mama cut her eyes at the little one and the tears dried up in an instant.  Something tells me that they got the same talk that I did before my Mama took me out shopping.  There were several other little tribes all over the store, and I heard things like, "Keep your hand on the cart, please!" and "Don't touch the things on the shelves, please!"  How hard is this?  Seriously, I realize raising children is likely one of the top five most challenging things on the planet.  But if you're going to have them, isn't it sort of your responsibility to raise decent little humans?  I certainly think so!  My sister and I turned out pretty well, and my parents are to thank for that.  We're both helpful, kind, respectful, and are able to think and do for ourselves.

So, the moral of the story is that I will no longer be heading to HEB for a full bill of groceries.  Sure, I'll stop there to get things like tuna steaks and such.  But for milk and oatmeal and such - absolutely not!  It's not worth the headache!  I'd like to personally thank all of the Wal Mart Mamas out there - and you know who you are!  This world needs more women that aren't afraid to tell their children no.  I promise it will not damage their self esteem or lead to years of therapy if they don't get the Dora the Explorer balloon or the jumbo package of Oreos.  They'll be just fine!  I promise - they'll learn that life sometimes isn't the way we think it should be, but it's all for a good reason.  All hail the strong, moral women of the world!  :-)

Waddly waddly...it's all just cheese and rice...

Sunny