I was thinking today how odd life is. Just when you think you have it all figured out, it throws you for a loop. Sometimes, we hold on as tight as we can so we don't fall off, and other times we throw our hands up over our heads and squeal with glee like little kids on a roller coaster. Time flies, and that's not always a bad thing! Two years ago, I was hanging on for dear life to this half dead thing that had no chance of survival. I was scared to death to fall off of the ride that I had spent so much time on. They say that drowning is actually pretty peaceful if you just stop fighting. I think letting go of something toxic is much the same - you just have to stop fighting. If you're ingesting poison, it's bound to catch up to you sooner or later you know.
So, I let go. Put the past behind me, and let go. Time is something that we can never, ever reclaim no matter what. Once a minute, an hour, a year, a decade is gone - it's very simply gone. So what do you do when you come to that realization? What happens when you have that moment of clarity? You pick your ass up off the ground, dust off, clean out your wounds and look ahead. Looking behind you will only get you bruises from running into things!
I personally, took refuge in the heart of Texas. In the hills. The place that I've been in love with for the better part of 10 years. I moved away from the only place that I've ever known and took a job on a whim. Little did I know what was in store for me! This beautiful store out in the middle of nowhere adopted me as her own. The staff became my adopted family. The owner of this massive corporation hugged me tight and greeted me with an enormous smile on her face. An insignificant job soon turned into so much more. Before I knew it I got a raise. Then a promotion and another raise. And an invitation to the most amazingly fun company Christmas party you can even imagine. I feel like I've been with this corporation for the better part of my adult life, and can't fathom ever working for anyone else. There's more good stuff on the horizon, and I can't wait to meet that skyline!
Then, after a series of odd encounters, I met someone that is truly worth my very valuable time. Someone worth spending those minutes, hours, and days on. That time that I can never get back finally feels well spent. Not a single solitary second feels wasted. And I have no regrets. I'm quite pleased that I let go - and yes, it is peaceful.
I guess I said all of that to say this - time is quite possibly the most valuable commodity that we have. If there is something that is holding you back, making you feel repressed and sad, or breaking your heart...just let go. It's amazing how much courage and strength are hanging out deep inside you. When you think you have nothing left in this world, they'll be there waiting to help you out. Christopher Robin once said to Pooh "You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." I never realized how very true that simple statement is. Happiness means different things to different people. For me, it's a hug and a kiss at the end of a hard day's work. And the notion that even though I don't know for sure what tomorrow is going to bring me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can handle it and keep smiling a genuine, happy smile. What is your happiness? Are you there? Is that smile a real one or a facade? You have the means to build your happy. And I promise - it's worth every single minute you'll spend on it!
Love and GENUINE Happiness,
Sunny ;-)
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